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How are you still single?

A few weeks back, I put a profile picture on Facebook of me looking like a deranged lumberjack. Someone asked the following question through the comment section: “How are you still single?” Instead of staying offended by that question; I decided to compile a list of some of the reasons that I think I”m still single. This will not be a complete list, and I”m sure you all who know me could probably add a few. Without further ado, here is a list of reasons of how I”m still single in no particular order.

I thought Titanic was a comedy and laughed out loud when Leo”s character had his arms ripped off the ice after he needless stayed in the water.

Women are intimidated by my ridiculous good looks.

I make statements like the one above and the one below.

Is it wrong that tonight I wish I were married so I wouldn”t have to iron these pants? Wanted, one wife to iron pants…. And for that love and companionship I guess too

I own this shirt and have worn it on multiple occasions

 

Twilight

 

Eharmony, Christian mingle, and blackpeoplemeet.com haven”t sent me enough emails yet.

 

Whenever I stir something, I do so in a counterclockwise instead of clockwise manner

 

The Notebook

 

Stains on the majority of the clothes that I own which comes from my inability to eat neatly.

 

Nickelback, I blame them for quite a bit.

 

I”ve yet to allow for the curvature of the earth.

 

I can only bench press 42 pounds and run a 2 minute 40 yard dash.

 

And apparently because of pictures like this.

So there you have it.  Just a few of the things that I belive have lead to my continued singledom.  I think people find these things endearing though.  🙂

4 Responses to “How are you still single?”

  1. Tiffinee says:

    Phil, you’re still single because God is still preparing your future wife for the awesomeness that is YOU…

  2. Tiffinee’s excellent reason notwithstanding, I thought maybe it was the horrifying state of your bathroom. I saw it when I was down there and my OCD almost threw me into seizures. I realize that maybe no women have actually seen this, but they have a 6th sense about such things. Honestly, this is the only logical reason I can come up with that you’re still single. 🙂
    Jason Stasyszen recently posted..Mature, Not DeadMy Profile

    • philip says:

      I don’t think that’s it. I’ve cleaned it at least twice since I’ve been there and I was still single on those days. Ill try it again though.

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