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Life Lessons: You Can’t Jump Over That

This is a second segment of an undetermined number of posts called life lessons.

 

Today”s lesson is, you”re not that athletic or coordinated. You”re neither nimble, nor are you quick. Please don”t try to jump over err… onto that post on the sidewalk.

 

I”ve mentioned in the past that I”m “accident prone,” but I”ve failed to mention that I”m also “do stupid stuff prone.” This was evident a few years ago when I was in California on vacation. We were the typical tourists in L.A. We visited the Grauman”s Chinese Theatre, the stars on the Hollywood walk of fame, Beverly Hills etc… We also hit up the theme parks including Universal Studios, Seaworld, the San Diego Zoo, and my personal favorite Disneyland.

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Our hotel was within walking distance of the walkway to Disneyland, and along the path there were various polls, posts, benches etc… strategically placed to keep vehicles from being able to drive up to the entrance. At least that”s what I assume they are for. I”ll tell you what they”re not for, jumping over or onto.

I mean I”m a lot of things, but I”m not this guy.

I started off simply enough. I was using my hands to vault my self over a couple of posts. I was actually quite good at it and landing with style and grace. Jason piped in with his opinion, however; telling me if I kept it up I was bound to hurt myself. Being the responsible person I am, I heeded his warning and stopped my tomfoolery. You of course know that”s not true as there would be no need for this “life lesson learned” theme.

 

No instead, I set out to prove my big brother wrong. I saw my opportunity for my greatest feat of unnecessary acrobatics in a post that was about 3 feet high and had a flat top about as wide as a coaster. My approach and take off were flawless; and though I landed my foot on top of the post, I far from stuck the landing and immediately slipped off. Being the graceful guy I am, I took the most painful route to the ground. First by slamming my right inner thigh against the corner of the post and the as I was hurtling to the ground the camera in my front pocket crushed into my leg breaking it. (The camera not my leg. I could already hear the I told you so coming so with the adrenalin flowing I pushed myself back up to my feet. I took one step and nearly collapsed back to the ground but just doubled over instead. Once I gained my composure and breath back, I limped myself and my bruised ego back to the hotel.

 

I limped for the rest of the trip, and the impact point had the following progression.

 

Morning after the incident.

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After a few hours walking

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After Two Days

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After we came back from the trip, it didn”t look any different than the above picture after two weeks and I started having some serious pain. I ended up in the ER so they could check me for a blood clot. Thank God that wasn”t the case.

 

So life lesson learned. I”m not that athletic or coordinated, and I shouldn”t attempt to jump onto or over stuff.

 

Top 3 songs

1. “So Many Ways to Die” Bombadil

2. “139” Gateway Worship

3. “Song for Zula” Phosphorescent

 

16 Responses to “Life Lessons: You Can’t Jump Over That”

  1. Better you than me!

  2. Rick Dawson says:

    True story: I was leaving an NA meeting at a hospital in Richmond, VA that had a very large grassed roundabout in front of the door we exit. Said roundabout also had a 3 foot tall hedge (2 foot wide) at the far side of it, running parallel to the curb and the parking lot roadbed.

    A couple of friends of mine and I challenged one another to a race across the grass. The additional challenge was to vault the hedge. My friends wisely stopped short. I, however, forgot two crucial facts: one, over thirty-five and smoker, not quite as fast or able to leap as high as I once might have. Two, wearing jeans and biker boots may help protect against *some* injuries, but may help cause others.

    My left boot heel caught the top of the hedge, and the rest of my body came down into the roadbed, with the top of my left hip landing on the concrete curb. Hard. Good thing we were already at the hospital. The doctor said it looked like a classic football injury – severely bruised.

    As the rest of the folks were exiting the meeting at the same time, and as we were a tight community at the time, I got to listen to my fair share of ribbing about it for weeks (months, actually). All that to remind you that you are not alone.
    Rick Dawson recently posted..If It IS Broke, How Should We Fix It?My Profile

  3. floyd says:

    Hey! I’m in that club too! And yes, I’ve had those type of bruises and reality checks… although I think the greatest damage done was to my ego! Great story! You’re my kinda guy!
    floyd recently posted..LEARNING TO LEADMy Profile

  4. Only thing I know to say: that had to hurt. 🙂
    bill (cycleguy) recently posted..AwakeMy Profile

  5. Hutch says:

    Oh to be young again. When I was in the Army in Germany (over 30 years ago, ugh), I remember leaving a local watering hole in town and doing something similar BUT – it was in front of the large window full of slightly inebriated patrons.
    Hutch recently posted..Impact someone today – encourage themMy Profile

    • philip says:

      Thanks Hutch, I left out that it was in a highly trafficked area. There were plenty of people around to witness my fall, and they weren’t so inebriated. 🙂

  6. hazel i moon says:

    I caught your post over at Rick’s Saturday Shortcuts http://www.plannedpeasanthood.com/2013/07/saturday-shortcuts-8/
    I recently fell, but not of a planned leap of faith. I tripped over a step and on my face I went. Embarrasing to say the lease, and now my husband takes my hand when we come to a step.

    • philip says:

      Thanks for stopping by Hazel. I’ve had many of those accidental falls as well. They’re always embarrassing. Thanks again. 🙂

  7. I don’t think I said, “I told you so,” but I’m sure I thought it. 🙂 I think they call that a poor man’s tattoo. Ouch. Glad I didn’t try it… 🙂
    Jason Stasyszen recently posted..O Grace, Where Art Thou?My Profile

  8. YIKES. Glad you survived, though I have to say this is not as bad as the type of pain I was expecting you to bring up when discussing hurdling poles.

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